I’ve written to you before about the anti-vaccine, so-called autism advocates who have tried to justify/whitewash the murder of Alex Spourdalakis. In their minds, a parent who is unable to take care of their developmentally delayed (and, in the case of Alex, disabled) child are justified if they murder said child. Why? What would justify murder? Why, it’s the lack of funds to give that child care by quacks, liars and thieves. When Alex was found murdered in a most heinous manner, the so-called autism advocates (those who say there is an epidemic when there is none and seemingly blame nothing but vaccines) said, “Oh, poor mother, poor caretaker, they had no other choice.”
Really? They had no other choice? They had a choice to give the child up to child protective services among other choices that did not involve slowly poisoning, nearly severing his arm, and stabbing him repeatedly. In fact, it was well-documented that child protective services offered help, but Alex’s mother turned it down. No, she wanted quackery, and even Andrew Jeremy Wakefield was there to try and encourage people to donate money for said quackery. Andrew Jeremy Wakefield and his giant balls then asked whose fault it was that Alex was murdered. Well, I’m no forensic expert, but we have the confession of the mother and caretaker, their description of the crime, and the weapon… And, saddest of all, the motive.
Well, dear readers, it’s happened again. This time it was in Prince Rupert, British Columbia, Canada:
“After the mother and son were found dead in their Prince Rupert home on April 3, RCMP [Royal Canadian Mounted Police] in Prince Rupert confirmed to relatives that Angie Robinson killed her son and then took her own life.
Her suicide note, together with her last post on Facebook, show that she believed she could no longer manage Robert, her family says, and that Family Services could not provide adequate support.
Ron Watson said the family wants to share the events leading up to the tragedy, hoping to increase support for autistic children in northern B.C.
He said Robert didn’t know his own strength, and his mother was finding it increasingly difficult to take him outside. Watson, who is 5-foot-11 and weighs 240 pounds, said Robert was taller and outweighed him by about 30 pounds.”
If it sounds like the Alex Spourdalakis case, it’s because it’s a lot like it. Faced with the increased burden of not being able to care for her child, the mother apparently gave Robert a fatal dose of ativan (an anxiety medication), and then she killed herself. In short, she left it up to herself whether her child should live or die.
Just like with the case of Alex, the murder apologists are out:
“News of this tragedy will provoke more outrageous, ridiculous attacks blaming deaths like those of this desperate mother and her son on parents and organizations who provide honest descriptions of severe autism disorders. Those who believe that autism is just a different way of being, a joy, even a blessing, will simply ignore the hard evidence, the hard reality, that parents of severely autistic children actually live first hand.”
The writer of the blog post is well known for this opposition to the idea that autism is a manifestation of neurodiversity in the human being, or that it’s always been around but is now better recognized. To him and others, it seems that autism is a disease, something brought upon them by the pharmaceutical industry or Satan (which, in their view, it might was well be one and the same). A child with autism that manifests itself in a severe way is a burden. As he writes, that child is not a joy or a blessing… But is the murder of said child justified?
Of course it’s not. If we as a society accepted the murder of children whose parents found the task of parenting unbearable, we would collapse in a few generations. Children, any children, are a burden and are many times hard to deal with. They throw tantrums, ruin plans (and carpets), or keep you from fulfilling all your dreams. But they’re our children, and they are human beings who are innocent of most of the sins that we as adults carry around. Alex and Robert were not burdens on their mothers on purpose. They didn’t wake up in the morning and plan how to be a “hard reality” for their parents. So why murder them?
I can envision a million alternatives to murder. It’s sad to see that those who call themselves “advocates” for children with autism don’t.
As an autistic adult, with a profoundly autistic child, I couldn’t handle parenting him, so even though it broke my heart, I gave his father custody. When visitation was causing problems with the disruption of his routine, I gave that up as well. I’ve been called any number of awful things for “abandoning” my child, never mind he has a better life than I ever could have given him, in the eyes of others if I didn’t martyr myself I’m a horrible mother, even though I did everything with my son’s best interest in mind. I think some women with autistic children look for validation with “look how much my child makes me suffer, but I can handle it, I’m strong”, as though saying I need help, I can’t do this, is unthinkable evil and means you don’t love your child. I’m sure part of it is society, calling women “selfish” if they aren’t 100% giving and nurturing 100% of the time, because “motherhood”. There is no shame in asking for help, and I didn’t abandon my son, I abandoned my heartbreak in order to do the right thing for him.
Thank you for sharing this, Bobbi. I’m sorry to hear that you had to go through this. As you stated, the child’s best interest should always be in mind.
I strongly suspect that’s not all. It’s hard to kill oneself with just benzodiazepines, much less somebody else.
I find murder advocates extremely offensive. I was one of those “hard to handle” children once.
Several times I actually reached out to that blogger, when he did his drive-by posting act on Respectful Insolence; I thought he was “reachable”.
His posts about Alex Spourdalakis’ death, where he blamed the supposed lack of services being offered to the murdering mother, was proof positive to me, that he is an apologist for murdering parents.
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“provoke more outrageous, ridiculous attacks blaming deaths like those of this desperate mother and her son on parents and organizations who provide honest descriptions of severe autism disorders”
Well, first and foremost, we blame the murdering parent, as you so eloquently pointed out.
But yes, organizations that devote themselves to painting autistic children as nothing but a burden, damaged, and lost deserve some blame for promoting a mentality that justifies killing them.